Letting Go

There comes a time when the things that you do, relationships/friends and things you own tend to stagnate you, hinder your growth. I feel it is imperative that in order to live a productive life, one must continue to grow. I had some things in my life that I held on to for much longer than I should have. Some ways about me that I suppressed to appease people and then I began to question myself. Why am I holding myself back when there is so much I want to do, so much I'm supposed to do? To make someone else happy or feel important? What about me? Don't I deserve the same?

I have always been smart. It is a God-given gift. I can't help it. If I'm interested, my mind becomes a sort of sponge and I am able to gain an "overstanding" of how things work and explain with great detail - not always to the liking of my friends. There is an old saying "if you're the smartest friend in the group, its time to find some new friends." I can't help being smart, and why should I?

I am a man of many talents; I do graphic design, publish books, work on computers, write poetry and prose, edit video and audio and I train/teach. In the past, I would have friends, and although we had fun hangin out and stuff, very few knew the real me, the whole me. For instance, I like old school hip hop AND I like to play chess AND comic books. or I like technology/gadgets AND I like good conversation about living/life. I don't drink or smoke. I could seldom find people that I could (or rather were interested enough to) relate with me on more than one or two areas. So I ended up with different friends for different "moods"...like for hip hop and comics, a friend for chess and technology, and so on. Now that I'm older, things are coming full circle and as my interests expand, I am meeting people that are more like me. I also find that friendship, true friendship is able to reciprocate. Not necessarily "an eye for an eye" but the balance of the relationship is maintained by what everybody is bringing to the table, not how much one can use the other for their own interests then turn up missing. I had alot of relationships like that. Such is life I suppose. The key is just knowing that nothing lasts forever and when its time to move on, don't waste precious time being stagnated by things that may look nice and feel good, when you know its more to it than that.