Drive me crazy!

I know this might seem nuts, but it's my blog so it can be like that. Last month, my ex-wife did something that many people take for granted. Something that can be very intimidating when it's brand new to you or if you are unfamiliar with. After a few failed attempts and several other issues in the course of at least 5 years, maybe longer. She got her driver's license at the young age of 42! YAAAAAAAY!

We went out early to get in line before the crowds. It was sunny. We were there for over an hour. When she went out it started to rain, but not a thunderstorm. More like a summer sprinkling. It was a really happy moment. Of course if you ask her "No, I wasn't nervous." Okay (wink)

Congratulations! I'm so very proud of you.

The "A" List

Summer session is finally over! I was taking statistics and an independent study. I'm not a math person, but I actually realized I knew (and was using) statistics already, I just didn't know that was what you call it. I just that all math was math. I never took that hard stuff...trig, calculus, heck I failed algebra the first time i took it, in high school and college. But this summer I got an A. I figured I could do better taking it in the summer - because it was only 4 class meetings (thanks to the July 4 holiday) over 1 month. In the fall it would have been 3 months, and alot more work.

I also took an independent study, which if kinda like "whatever you can do and justify how it is applicable to your degree program" to get a grade. I chose to make podcasts (video and audio) of my statistics classes. This helped me and my classmates because you could hear the lesson and questions from class again. Pretty cool.

I found out I wont be able to graduate this fall as I had planned. I would have the hours, but the last 2 classes; Research (for your thesis) and Thesis I can't take them at the same time - because (theroretically) you can't write your thesis until you have learned to conduct the RESEARCH for it. I thought this kinda silly, but this is part of the dance so my options are limited. The upside is I get the student tax break for that much longer.

Grad school is different from undergrad in many ways I had forgotten about since it was like 10 years since I was in undergrad. For starters, grad school is not included in the valedictorian/salutatorian thingy at graduation, so a 4.0 gpa is like...SO! Also, the other thing, you know the cum laude stuff, is on a different scale as well. So to get Magna Cum Laude (the highest one) you can only get one B.

I'm contemplating a Doctoral program. Do I want to do that now? I don't think I want it right now, I'm tired of being financially strapped, a less admirable aspect of student-dom. I didn't realize how much a masters degree can impact your salary for a job. I mean you can just ask for 20-30% sometimes more off the bat, just because, whether its actually in your field or not, which is kinda twisted to me. But don't stop now. :-)


So now I got a month off before the fall semester. What are YOU doin? Maybe we can hang out, I got a grill and some mixtapes.

buzzwords from my childhood...

Here are some random memories from my childhood. I grew up in the DC area. Lets see if you can follow me. I tried to put just the phrases to see if you knew the shows and stuff, but of course I dont know all of them. So lets see what you know...


We got a Hot Fudge Show comin on
Stretch Armstrong
Spirograph
We can rebuild him, stronger, faster, better
Silly Putty
Schoolhouse Rock (Verbs, thats what's happenin'!)
Milk does a body good
Creature Feature (weekly scary movie on tv)
Break-Out
Tom-Tom club
Animalympics
Strawberry Shortcake cereal
Grimace, Hamburglar, Mayor McCheese, The Fry Guys and Rosie
Captain Kangaroo
There's no Gnews, like good Gnews...with Gary Gnu
The Cookie Crook
Joe Cool
Frankenberry
Land of the Lost
Boo-Berry
Puff the Magic Dragon
Pete's Dragon
Mr. McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldnt like me when I'm angry
Wikki, wikki, wikki, wikki

10 silly things I thought when i was a kid

1. That the people you see on tv lived inside the tv. Well, not the real people, just the cartoons.

2. That you could erase the bra off a page in a catalog and see the breasts.

3. Kissing girls on the lips was wack.

4. That a "laserdisc" could play whatever you wanted to watch whenever you wanted to watch it

5. That I wanted to change my first name to "Rocky"

6. Now & Laters were the greatest candy ever created

7. Bubble Burgers were a close second

8. I was going to collect every Hot Wheels car made

9. That I could figure out the proper way to spell and "add" the word Barbeque to the dictionary. I had only seen BBQ and Bar-B-Q and I knew there had to be a correct spelling.

10. How come they couldn't take out terrorist "guerrillas." I mean they were just monkeys, how hard could it be?

Superman Returns...for better or worse

OK, so I peeped the new man o' steel this weekend, and I can clearly say I liked it, but I can also see why it wasn't the "smash of the summer" that left the execs at Fox scrambling to decide when X-Men 3 should be released to avoid market dilusion.

I warn you now, if you havent seen it and don't want to know what happens, change the channel.

First off, This was an epic, a 2.5 hour long one. Thinking of teenage boys, which is the largest segment of the summer audience thats a long time to sit still. Not to mention it wasn't a whole lot of action, in comparison to x-men, , batman begins, the matrix trilogy, star wars...pick one. I must say it was great cinematography and effects. This Superman was very graceful, doing alot of "hovering" and slow flying. I did like the flying in the clouds. A few things were technically impossible (like holding up an airplane on it's end) but I'll write that off as "movie magic." Again I will say...NOT ENOUGH ACTION! This movie played more like a drama and one character could fly and stuff. Kinda like that 70's show "Kung Fu" with David Carradine. You watch the whole show for like 1 or 2 fights. There was little "fast action" I mean he flew fast, and a couple of times he moved fast, but it was the one camera shot he's there-look at the other person-then back and he's gone. This wasn't a rock 'em sock 'em action flick, so if thats all you want you'll be disappointed. This is not the movie you walk out of thinking you can fly or you can save the world.

The comparisons to Jesus Christ (Superman a savior) although I could see how one could make the comparison, it aint that deep. There is a scene when he is falling from outer space and his arms are stretched out like Jesus on the cross, but realistically, I think that was just a classic heroic pose, than a "let's make him like Jesus" move. He was floating in space unconscious, how many choices do you have? The speculation that Superman may be gay, I didn't get at all. Well, besides the lock in his hair and the whole tight blue suit with speedos on the outside.

I did appreciate the plot of the movie with the internal drama Superman faced with the issue of "do we really need superman" and Lois Lane "moving on" because he went away, the legacy of his son, etc., etc. All the characters were solid, which makes for a very rich plot, however chalk it up to editing for being slow at times. I really felt that some things could have been left out to move the story along. The story was very mature for a "blockbuster." I think that is also why Pirates of the Carribbean racked up. The choices were "Cars" a cartoon, Superman and Garfield, a corny live action sequel. "Pirates" was more action and cool stuff teens would appreciate. I saw the first Pirates on cable and I thought it was wack, but thats just me. So I guess it was a hit because parents, teens and kids can enjoy it.

There was too much emphasis on the relationship with Lois Lane and the conflict with Cyclops, uh I mean James Marsden whom she is perpetually engaged to. Lex Luthor, played by Kevin Spacey was good, but kinda wierd. He seemed to be very selfish and maniacal. However he didn't seem very evil, something I come to expect from the "dominate the world" type antagonists from comic books. I don't even think Lex killed anybody. Well because of the rating you wouldn't actually see it, but like in X-men, you know when Wolverine killed somebody, or the jedi and so forth. I know Superman isn't quite like those guys, mainly because he is from a different era - 1930's, whereas most of the other comic characters - Spidey, x-men, hellboy, fantastic four, Hulk were all created in the 50's and 60's. Also, unlike the others, Byran Singer's Superman had a great movie to outdo, in the production of the '78 version and in Christopher Reeve's classic portrayal because of what happened to him later in life. Superman also has the other incarnations to dilute the image (Smallville) in addition to certain aspects like how he was born, and grew into his powers have been done to death already - so although that would have been good to see, no need to reinvent the wheel. All these "creators" have different interpretations and as a viewer thats kinda confusing. So if you're a teen or 20-something that likes Smallville, this was a different portrayal.

Some things that didn't help the movie were: the newspaper setting - J Jonah Jameson would beat Perry White down, he didn't really stand out at all. The other reporters in Superman weren't impressive, like in Spider-man. Superman being the only "Super" in the movie, all the other heros had equally super foes to heighten and level the playing field. I can't say it enough, this movie needed more "tricks." The thing with the laser vison melting the falling glass was cool..more stuff like that. Pickup a parking meter and swat a car. Shake somebody's hand and make them kneel, you know testosterone type stunts. Superman is too darn noble.


Something I really don't like about "super-hero" movies is when the mystique is tarnished. So when Lex finds the Fortress of Solitude I'm like WTH? Nobody's supposed to know where that is, let alone find it. Kinda like in Batman Returns when Penguin and his posse raided the batcave and stole the batmobile and stuff, too vulnerable. I know that Lex finding the crystals is the whole plot, but i wish it could have been something else. Then Kitty Kawalski tosses the remaining crystals out the helicopter. So what, Superman can never talk to his Dad again? The Super-son can never meet gramps? Thats wack. There are many things I liked, and many I disliked. I will admit Bryan Singer's choices "worked" but I think I would have done things different, if I could just get past the guards at Warner Brothers.

mad mad world

What do these people have in common?

Kurt Cobain
Jimi Hendrix
Janis Joplin
Jim Morrison


All musicians that died from drug overdose
at age 27

strange but true

and how about all these songs about drugs?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_songs_about_drugs

Crack is Wack

I was watching this series on Sundance about drugs "The Drug Wars" and they were talking about the crack epidemic of the 80's. They said the "Drug Free America" laws passed under Reagan's watch put it on the books - 5 grams of crack (worth $125 on the street) automatically gets you 5 years in jail, but 500 grams of cocaine powder (worth $50,000 to get the same sentence). Crack and cocaine are the same thing, so essentially people buying less drugs (crack) got longer time in jail. So as a result, alot of black and latino kids were thrown in jail. I also didn't realize that crack was the first drug to become a big addiction for women, which in the inner city where the household is mainly single (women) parents creates a serous problem. Also, just prior to the drug epidemic, there were massive cuts in urban development, which meant fewer jobs and resources for inner city residents.

Something I was aware of, but never correlated in time was the major overflow of the prisons which began privitizing prison systems was during the crack epidemic. So what have we learned boys and girls?

Take away economic development (jobs), flood the area with powerful illegal drugs, pass laws that prosecute only the petty thugs in the game, while exempting the power players and watch the people tear themselves apart and the media hype the hell out of it to scare everyone and create mass hysteria. Then privitize the prison system so you can get residual income from the government for keeping prisons full. What? Rehabilitation? Fugetaboutit.

If that ain't a plan by "the man" to keep a people down, I don't know what is.

Smarty Pants

I took this IQ test on tickle.com and it said my IQ is 124. It said 95% of people score 70-130. I think the genius community, MENSA, requires a score of 140-160 or like the top 2% of the smartest. I’ve always been “that smart guy”, but I never put much credibility in those kinds of tests because most of the time they are biased. When I read the detailed assessment, it read a little like a horoscope with jobs I would be good at and activities I should be good at or enjoy. Kinda generic and broad.

Also I don’t think they measure true intelligence, but rather how well you have assimilated to the culture of the test givers, especially in a culture where success is measured by primarily college degrees. That was reinforced once I began grad school in education discussing the problems when you try to assess or quantify knowledge or learning. Besides what good is all the knowledge in the world if you’re not in an environment that makes it effective?

Relax, Relate, Release

The funny thing about divorce is that (if you know beforehand) you always question yourself about how much is too much before that “last straw” discussion/argument/brawl. How many visits, phone calls, inappropriate/questionable actions, nights away on “business” is too much? You ask, am I being controlling or am I being deceived? It’s always sad to think about any relationship from start to finish when things end on a bad note because that is almost always stark contrast from the beginning when you were “manifested joy,” “dream come true” and all that kind of stuff.

When it first happened of course it was all kinds of emotions all at once:
Betrayal – that someone could choose another person over me after the vow that every woman hounds a man to take “to be mine exclusively”
Frustration – that I had let things fade to this point, and being the stability while she felt it was okay to venture
Disgust – that another person I thought was a friend had taken advantage of my kindness and support to use it against me or was just plain disrespectful
Anxiety – about the situation, feeling something is not right, compelling me to act because in the current state, chaotic, ain’t working
Confusion – Is this really happening? To me? Now?

You know you really don’t want to realize the situation (or you take the other extreme and grab a knife/bat/gun/Mercedes-benz and lose it). I’m probably like a lot of other people when I say I never would have thought this would happen to me, or that I didn’t see it coming. Well actually I did see it coming, in a sense. A year earlier I felt extreme uneasiness about the relationship and I addressed it. But you know the story “I’ll change, it will be different” etcetera, etcetera and I bought it partly in hopes of the equivalent of “it’s just a stage, we’ll grow out of it” and partly because I’m second guessing myself because of the remote possibility things aren’t always as they appear. Nah, screw that I knew what it was…inappropriate and disrespectful, and I took her word it wouldn’t continue along that path, much to my own demise.

I read an article on www.dearpeggy.com about “emotional affairs” and it said…
It's an emotional affair if…

--you are keeping the details of your relationship secret from your spouse

-- you are saying and doing things with the other person you wouldn't do with your spouse present

-- you are sharing things with the other person that you don't share with your spouse

-- you are making an effort to arrange to spend time with the other person

And I thought wow, I was right all along. Was it a waste? No way. If I could do it all over, I probably would, but I would be very different. Would I do it again? Hmmm, jury still out on that one. I’m not in sync yet…you know, heart saying “of course we would”, brain sayin “Hell to the naw.” What’s your take on marriage, divorce and “emotional affairs”?